There are certain people in your church and on your team that are a little difficult to deal with and sometimes drive you crazy.  We have many people with different and unique personalities on our team but there are some of those people who are more difficult than others.  So, how do you deal with them?

For some reason the worship team and tech at my church,  which are led by my wife and myself, tend to attract interesting people.  You know the ones. They are more of a drain than a blessing, other members of the team tend to ignore or avoid them and even talk bad about them behind their backs.

So, why do these people act the way that they do? Is it on purpose? Do they even know that they are being difficult? Maybe it is something deeper? Dealing with them isn’t easy, it takes a lot of endurance, and encouragement and you can’t just take the easy route and ignore it. Things must be dealt with for the benefit of the team.

How do you deal with them?

Do you have anyone on your team that has a personality that is different from anyone else? Someone who is a little more obnoxious than others or perhaps disrespects your authority. Sometimes being patient with these individuals is hard to do and showing them love is almost impossible. I’ve learned a lot over the years on how to lead and direct those types of people. Here are a few ways that I feel will help in this area.

Love Them

Love them like Jesus loves them. It’s easier said then done, but it is our job to love them unconditionally like Jesus would. Try to see through their lens. Get to know them, it could open up reasons that they’re being difficult, and make it easier to truly love them.

Build Trust With Them

This might take a while but build a healthy and trustworthy relationship with the individual. By building this relationship, it will allow the individual to be more vulnerable and will open up to you about their life, their story, and some of the difficult things they are dealing with that could be causing them to act the way they are. While building this relationship cast vision to them.  Keep this vision in front of them. Make sure they know why we are here and that the vision is clearly set before them.

Extend Grace and Mercy For a Time

Like God extended his grace and mercy to us over and over again, even before we were born. We need to do the same for them.  I’m not saying completely ignore the person’s behavior but give them grace. Maybe they are being difficult because they are going through some difficult even in their life and are taking it out on the team.

Confront Them

Just as God extends a period of grace and mercy, there will come a period of judgment.  You will know when the time is, and you must confront the situation. This may be a difficult situation for yourself and for the person you are confronting. Do it in love and the confrontation will bless and strengthen your relationship. Remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

Pray With Them And For Them

Seems like the obvious thing to do right? Sometimes we forget that prayer actually works. Pull them aside and pray. Let the Holy Spirit do the work through prayer.

Ask Them To Step Down

This isn’t something we ever want to get to. However, sadly there comes a point when it is necessary to ask someone to step down from their position. We usually reserve this as a last resort and seldom ever get to this point.

There are many other ways that you can deal with difficult people. These are just a few ways that I am using now to deal with someone who is difficult. Remember, to make sure that the steps you take fall in line with the leadership in your church. Ask for wisdom and Godly advice from your pastor. Always remember that we aren’t perfect and we all fall short. Coming from the tech. booth I know I have been a little difficult with the worship team. I think we all need some grace extended towards each other every once in a while.

If you have any ways you use to deal with difficult people share them with us in the comments below.

Written by Rob Sorensen

I have been serving as the social media manager along with the Audio/Video/Lighting engineer at Life Change Church since 2014. When I'm not serving at Life Change I can almost always can be found with my wife and 4 children.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s